If you want me to speak English, you better mean it!

I'm definitely getting accustomed to normal public behavior in Prague. When I first arrived, my big American smile was confusing/embarrassing to strangers. We're used to smiling at everyone, especially women, no big woop. Except here the women think you're coming on to them. I'm not saying I'm not coming on to them, but jeez, give a guy a break. I only want a smile in return. Instead I would get a cofused or scared expression from others, totally not sexy.
So I've learned a little. Specifically, I act like I'm not paying attention to anything. If you do stare at a woman (and they are nice to look at around these parts) just give them a blank stare until they crack a smile or look away. A couple of my friends who happen to be women tell me that not all men in Prague are so staid (look it up) and that they routinely get hit on in public. I don't know what they're complaining about, we should all be so lucky.

I'm pretty self conscious about speaking English in public, especially if I'm by myself. When I first showed up here, I would have jumped at the opportunity to talk with another native English speaker. These days, a traveler would have to be lost, in trouble, or really pretty for me to strike up a conversation in English. Any other situation is gonna need a direct request and you'll have to take the embarrassing risk that I might be Czech and not speak your strange foreign language. Maybe I'm being an ass, but it makes surviving in public a little easier.

I get a big kick out of people carrying on loud conversations near me in English, because they assume that nobody speaks. Mostly I have to try and keep a straight face when the tourists on the tram are talking about what a hot piece of ass I am. On the tram last night a girl actually said, "it sucks that nobody speaks English around here." I was standing right next to her. There was also an incident a few weeks ago where two girls (see the recurring theme) got on the tram and walked right over to me and asked me some questions in English. Maybe it was the American flag necktie I was wearing, but props to them anyway for recognizing a fellow citizen.

That's it for now you crazy cat(s). Really, I don't know how many people actually read this.

I'm out like a fat kid in dodge ball!

- J