In Limbo

The Blogger/Internet Explorer relationship is strained, they have communications issues. My entries keep getting dumped before I can save them or when I try to add pictures. So again, no pictures on this entry, but you can click on the title bar of this entry for a link to my flickr account. Anyway, on to more serious subjects.

Everyone back home may not want to hear this, but I've been planning on staying in Prague a while longer. Nothing is official yet, but I've been actively looking for work for the last month and a half. A few interviews later, I'm sitting here at my desk having a serious decision making crisis. I really want to stay here, and if I'm hired in the next week and a half, I will. If no one wants this hot piece of ass as an employee, I'm going home by default. Sounds like I've made up my mind, but I never know from one day to the next what I want to do. The emotion wrapped up in this is kicking me in the balls on a regular basis.

If you need some further explanation, I like myself better since I came here. This is totally not a knock against anyone back home. I love all of you (well, almost all). Basically, the kind of growth that comes with adapting to an unfamiliar and uncertain environment is addictive for me. It sounds pretty corny, but it feels like I'm living on the edge of stability, and heightens all my senses and makes me glad to be alive. Some mornings it makes me hate the fact that I ever came here. Like when it's 5 below freezing and I have to go to work and leave work literally in the dark. Or when I dream of home and wake wanting to see my family, my friends, the beautiful Bay Area, and instead I have to brace for another challenging day.

But it's the people I meet that keep me here. The ones who've done this before, who are here for the same reason. They keep me going. Don't believe all the hype about Prague. It's beautiful, yes, but without the right attitude, public life can seem really cold and unfeeling. I gradually warm up to it as each day goes by.

Again...nothing is certain yet, except for that return ticket to San Francisco sitting on my night stand. If I hear no good news from employers between now and November 9th, I return to the open arms of family and friends. Sorry if you hate me for not wanting to return so soon, it's what I want to do. Feel free to vent or offer encouraging comments because most mornings I need them.

Once again, I love everyone back home and I will see you sooner or later.

Peace out!

J